Crazy English

Some Humour

Ever since I 'discovered,' not exactly like Christopher Columbus, this composition (Sounds musical doesn't it? by Richard Lederer, I have used it at the beginning of the year with some new classes. Always with the same hilarious results. It never fails to spark a witty flurry of writings that sometimes catches on or peters out as other pressures move in.

Richard Lederer

Richard Lederer is the author of more than 35 books about language, history, and humor, including his best-selling Anguished English series and his current book, The Gift of Age. He has been profiled in magazines as diverse as The New Yorker, People, and the National Enquirer and frequently appears on radio as a commentator on language. He has been named International Punster of the Year and Toastmasters International's Golden Gavel winner.

He is the father of author and poet Katy Lederer and poker players Howard Lederer and Annie Duke. (from the site below)

You can learn more about the man and his work here:
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/28981.Richard_Lederer

English: the CRAZY language

“Let’s face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

And finally, why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?” 
― Richard Lederer

 A little activity

Do you find it funny? What makes it so? Can you think of your own smart constructions?Are there and language rules you can pick from the above piece? Post your feed back. Let's have some crazy moments with the crazy language.